it's official. september 1st, 2006 is the day i graduate with a BA in media studies, a minor in classical studies, summa cum laude with a GPA of 3.924 =D
i know i mentioned most of this before, when i was done with my last class. but the audit department likes to take its time and then usually fuck you over, if they can. today, i logged in to my esims account (the CUNY system for students to register and check on all of their information) and found it actually listed. this means that i will soon be able to send my beloved martha to pick up my diploma and send it to me.
Even those who aren't particularly sympathetic to Bibi Natanyahu could get a good measure of satisfaction from his interview with the British Television this morning (27.8.06). I guess it can be attributed to his days studying history at Harvard.
The interviewer asked him: "How come so many more Lebanese have been killed in this conflict than Israelis?" (A nasty question if there ever was one!)
Natanyahu: "Are you sure that you want to start asking in that direction?"
Interviewer: (Falling into the trap) "Why not?"
Natanyahu: "Because in World War II more Germans were killed than British and Americans combined, but there is no doubt in anyone's mind that the war was caused by Germany's aggression. And in response to the German blitz on London, the British wiped out the entire city of Dresden, burning to death more German civilians than the number of people killed in Hiroshima. Moreover, I could remind you that in 1944, when the R.A.F. tried to bomb the Gestapo Headquarters in Copenhagen, some of the bombs missed their target and fell on a Danish children's hospital, killing 83 little children. Perhaps you have another question?"
i had planned to take care of a few things, but after engaging in a rather exhausting activity till 5am, i really just didn't wanna get up and go anywhere. i did manage to wake up and sit here with my machine for a couple of hours, but then i just fell over again and went back to sleep.
it is now 6:15pm and i have finally woken up for the day.
tonight was one of the best nights i've had in tel aviv since i got here. i don't know where to begin...
a friend of mine (hamutal) was celebrating her birthday. shani and i headed over there at about 8:30pm and were there rather early. the party was called for 8pm but we didn't wanna come late cuz we figured it would be nice to have people there when hamutal was expecting them. we sat around with everyone (we weren't the first), drank, ate and talked. now, hamutal is the cutest girl ever and her birthday party was handled like a classic israeli grade-school party. the food was right and so forth. well, there was alcohol too, but who's really keeping track? heh.
at some point, not too far into the evening - an ex of mine showed up. i knew he was going to be there but i didn't know what to expect. this is a person who's heart i, unfortunately, managed to break all those years ago. before i left for the states. obviously seven years should be enough to get over things of this nature, but we're not all made of stone (the way i pretend to be) and it took this particular ex a long time to get over me. i'm talking years. almost all of the last seven. so while i was looking forward to seeing him, i wasn't sure what was going to take place. but when he walked in, i had to get up and go say hello. we hugged and it wasn't even awkward. it was nice. i can't even believe it's been over seven years. my ex (chen), shani (she knew him back when we were dating, too) and i had awesome conversation the whole night. it was mostly based on the stuff we've all been studying, books, movies and all the rest of the common conversation topics.
at about 2am, we all decided to leave and walked to the closest corner, where we were all supposed to go our separate ways. but after shani left, it was difficult for chen and i not to try and catch up on the crazy shit we went through since we last saw each other. it was much deeper than that, too. see, chen is the person i was dating back when i broke my jaw. it was a month after my brother died and he pretty much knew everything there was to know about me. i cared for him a lot. however, looking back - i wasn't in the right place in my life for a relationship as intense as he was offering. his memory is phenomenal. he reminded me of things i couldn't remember for the life of me... all of a sudden things i hadn't thought about in years came to the front of my mind as though they had occurred yesterday.
at 3:15am i decided that it was time to say good bye. he had someone to meet and i was rather tired. as i was walking home, i realized that i had spent the evening with two of the people who had known me most intimately for a good portion of my life. it was a nice feeling not to have to explain myself... even to the guy who was 'too good' for me back then, too. for some reason he always accepted my insanity (for lack of a better term) and even loved me for it. tonight, it was just a conversation with someone who actually understood me and had no judgments.
i look forward to running into other people i once knew. people who loved me in all my (retarded) glory. those who are willing to accept that i've actually changed, but that would love me no matter what. i also look forward to taking those who love me now and guiding them through rediscovering myself in a new light...
i've said it before and i'll say it again... i absolutely love israeli humor! all of it. the old and the new, the intelligent and the stupid. it all just has an edge that you can't get almost anywhere else =D
Posted by
Dina on 08.22.06 @ 04:10 PM EEST :: [link]
Sunday, August 20th
observations
music: nothing mood: sweaty
1. the pigeons in israel aren't as fat as the ones in new york. 2. all of the ACs in tel aviv drip. if you don't pay attention for more than three minutes (or so), you're probably going to get dripped on while walking on any given sidewalk. lol.
it occurs to me that israelis simply are not familiar with the concept of drinking wine. being that wine is the one thing i prefer to drink, i often ask for it at bars and clubs. in the past this was never an issue. even though at some of the nyc clubs i often got something i wouldn't even dignify by calling wine, there was always a look of recognition on the bartender's face and no hesitation. here, however, every time i ask for a glass of wine (and mind you, i ask for a 'red' or a 'white' without specifying which kind - so as to not further confuse the poor bartender) i am often confronted with hesitation and occasionally with 'sorry, we don't serve that here.' in the places that do serve it (not including restaurants, where i have not had this problem), i often receive it in a really dusty glass... as if i were the only one to ever ask for such a bizarre beverage.
heh.
well they're going to have to get used to me... and perhaps at some point the glasses i drink from will be properly washed and familiar with the red liquid i enjoy consuming =D
Posted by
Dina on 08.20.06 @ 12:27 PM EEST :: [link]
Friday, August 18th
seriously, now...
music: noises from outside mood: could be better
i've been here about two weeks and i swear i haven't been soaked in so much drama in the last four years of my life put together. i cannot express how much i loath drama. normally, i avoid it like the plague but now i seem to not be able to get away from it.
welp, once again i am faced with the fact that i am simply not anyone's type. i have learned to be caring, understanding and accepting of other people's quirks and intricacies, and yet i find that it's not enough. to add insult to injury, this time around i found that i was also not completely physically attractive. granted, it's a little more complex than that, but that's the part that baffled me. this was something rather new to me, too. but hey, i guess nothing really surprises me anymore...
after swallowing a few tears and getting my head straight, i'll be juuuust fine =)
the only question really (always) is... IS there anyone out there for me? heh.
things have been odd. i don't say that in a bad way... but rather in a 'learning new stuff and getting used to new situations' kind of way. i'm pretty sure i'm done with the whole jet lag thing, but i have still been unable to get to sleep before 4am on most nights (mornings?). then i sleep till about 1-2pm. i spend most of my day trying to hide from the sticky weather (unless something or someone lures me outdoors), and then only venture out after dark.
the after dark activities pretty much consist of anything someone wants to drag me to. since moving back here is weirder than having moved here the first time, i allow my friends to drag me where ever they want. i've gone to some parties/clubs, bars and restaurants.
last night was a silly fetish party and a venue that's actually called 'the dungeon.' i was there once, about three years ago when it first opened. i wasn't impressed back then, but i allowed myself to be dragged cuz i wanted to hang out with friends. i'm really not into the fetish 'scene' nor have i ever been. not in nyc and certainly not here... but i have to admit that the level of professionalism in their performances has gone up siginificantly since the last time i was there. i was impressed. the music was silly, too. it was all of the crap that ian used to spin at the crapcave back when i first moved to nyc. the dj from last night is actually someone i know. and while i love her sets, it's purely for nostalgic value. she really should move on. i mean there's a lot of new goth/industrial shite out there... oh well. good times anyway =)
tonight i should be meeting up with benji. if he ever decides to have an entire conversation with me so we can actually make up a time and place. then i want to go to 1984 again. i had fun last week. though i suspect that tonight i will be braving it alone =P
music: noises from outside mood: why am i up so early?
i've had lots of things said about me in the past.
i know... it's human nature to gossip and talk about others behind their back. and i can't say i haven't done so myself many times. mostly, i think it's amusing and i'm unmoved by it. however, when gossip turns malicious, more harm than amusement can occur. jealousy, which in my opinion is a main cause for rumor-spreading, can be a dangerous weapon.
i'm not going to go into detail here cuz it's not the place for it. i will just say that i honestly hope this saga concludes without any real negative outcome.
today marks eight years since uzi died. i can't believe it's been so long. so many things have happened since he's been gone...
i've done things, gone places and changed quite a bit i'm sure. probably more than once and in more than one way. so many things i wasn't able to share...
i always try to be strong. for the most part i think i do ok. however, it should be noted that i'm only stubborn and hard on the outside. my shell. on the inside, i have come to realize that i am as soft as they come. and sometimes... usually when i'm alone - the wall comes down. and i cry. sometimes crying makes things better. sometimes it doesn't.
i am so utterly exhausted and tired of being disappointed.
i don't even want to give any details right here. some of you know exaactly what i'm referring to. to those of you who do, don't worry. i'll be ok. i always am.
i just honestly don't know what to do about this anymore.
i really believe that there is no one for me.
not a single person will ever find me interesting AND attractive enough to want to have me around for more than a night or a few days.
i can't play games. i don't know how to do anything half-assed, either. i refuse to. if i want someone or something i am willing to give it my all. but it appreas that in the end, everyone wants or even needs these games. regardless of if they know it or not. the bottom line is that if things come too easy, people seem to think they're not worth it.
i don't know how to play hard-to-get. i wear my heart on my sleeve. and more often than not, it gets crushed.
yesterday, after unpacking most of my boxes, i realized that the third bedroom looks like a shoe store. after all, i do have some girly traits. collecting shoes being one of them. or boots, as the case may be...
as i was sitting in there, going over my DVD collelction with lior, daniel walks in and comments "it looks like someone repeated Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V about fifteen times."
if that isn't the cutest thing ever, i don't know what is =P
last night was the first night i actually went out clubbing since i got here. i wasn't expecting anything except for it to be much different from all the crap i was used to in nyc. not because i thought it would be better, necessarily - but rather because the crowd is simply not the same. it was an 80's night called 1984 with a 'fourth grade party' theme. it was so amusing, i absolutely loved it. not to mention that i got to see shani, whom i have not seen in about three years.
we danced, laughed and drank a little; then we headed over to a bar so we could sit and talk (not that the music at the bar was at a much better volume for talking...). at about 4am we decided that we'd better go but got caught up in further conversation as we walked and finally forced ourselves to say good night at 4:30am.
i seriously was not expecting to have so much fun or be out that late =D
tonight i will go to the alternative. it's the weekly party that poeple feel it's mandatory to whine about (kinda like they do about the crapcave in new york). i'm rather looking forward to it.
i would like to announce that fifteen of the sixteen boxes i had sent from the states to israel have arrived. eitan (my brother in law) just dropped fourteen of them off. they look like they've been through a war (well, i guess they technically have =D), but they're more or less in one piece. i am still missing two boxes. one, which my sister forgot she opened and took apart cuz it was wet and one that is still on its way. i had sent it only one week before i left, so i'm not entirely worried about it.
now, if i can only figure out how the hell to go through them and find what i want =D
i'm really trying to get this jet lag under control. it appears that every time it seems i might be doing just that, i fall asleep in the middle of the day and then i either can't get to sleep at a decent hour at night or i'll go to sleep so early, that i'll wake up at about 4am or so.
that being said, last night i actually managed to get a good night sleep. however, i did have to be up relatively early today so i'll have to see how i feel through out the rest of the day.
this morning i had to go see a doctor in order to get a referral for some blood work. nothing serious, just routine. however, when i got to the clinic i had a serious reminder of just how much israelis don't know how to wait in line. especially the little old ladies.
while i was waiting to see the doctor (i was second in line), at least two other people came and stood right in front of the door - waiting for the person inside to come out so they can push ahead of everyone. the going excuse seems to be 'i just have a short/little question to ask'. then, when i got out of the doctor's office and was waiting to speak to the receptionist, about three or four other people did the exact same thing in this line as well.
technically, this is the type of thing i don't hesitate to get loud about. even to an older lady. i mean seriously, sit down and wait the extra five minutes. however, since i'm not in a rush to go anywhere these days - i kind of just let it slide. heh.
music: noises from outside mood: tired but not sleepy
my way over here went a little less smooth than one would hope. the morning of, things appeared to be going nicely... i woke up early enough to run some last minute errands and managed to wake magal up so he could help me with my suitcases and say good bye. the shuttle came on time (even a few minutes early) and i was on my way.
i arrived at newark airport at a time that seemed to be just right, whereupon i headed over to the only elal-related counter to ask about checking in - and this is what took place:
elal rep"can i please see your ticket?" me*shows her my ticket* elal rep"you mean no one called you?" me"umm... no" elal rep"oh. well your flight has been canceled and you will instead be leaving from JFK at 7:55 this evening"
yea... my original flight was supposed to be at 2:40pm and i was therefore now eight hours early for my flight. not to mention that i had originally come from queens, which is a ten minute drive from JFK, to newark and was now going back to that area with the help of a bus that they were supposed to provide.
even though i had not yet gone anywhere, all i could think was 'welcome to israel'. lol. with the help of this stupid delay and a bunch of other annoyances that elal put me through, i met a few interesting people who kept me entertained while we were waiting for our flight and then on it. the flight itself was not bad, albeit a little bumpy. when i arrived at ben gurion airport, i was delighted to see a few familiar faces and proceeded to give out (and receive) some major huggage =D
since thursday i have been mostly hanging out with daniel and sleeping. there was some good food involved and some movies with lior, too. i'm not really the jet lag type, but it appears to have gotten me in its grip anyway.
today will be used for some errands that i should take care of and then hanging out with shay. not sure what the evening holds yet, but it might just include more relaxing and hanging out... what with how tired i actually am =P
also... the weather is hot and sticky. but it's certainly more bearable than the weather i came from. at least i don't feel like i'm walking into an oven every time i step outside and i can actually exist without having AC on 24/7. hehe.
for the last few days i've been running around trying to do all the last-minute things that should be taken care of before i leave. i've been seeing people that couldn't make it on friday (and some who did, but that i normally see several times a week anyway and i'm going to have a hard time living without once i'm on the other side of the world), collecting letters of recommendation from a couple of professors just in case i decide that grad school is in order when i'm in the holy land, buying some last minute things, and generally trying to be out and about as much as possible cuz come tomorrow - i'll be doing that in a whole other country =D
i have to admit it feels weird. i walk around knowing that this will be my last time in these places for a good long while, i hug my friends just a little tighter than i normally would...
with that said, i am extremely excited about the move. there's a lot i'm looking forward to out there. and i can't wait to get out of this fucking sauna! lol.